1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards. Fruit=healthy.
10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!”

1/2 pound butter (2 sticks)
2 cups flour
2 cups chopped pecans
5 tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 tablespoon water
1/2 teaspoon salt
Powdered sugar

Cream butter and sugar; add vanilla and water.

Sift flour and salt. Stir into mixture.

Add pecans and mix well.

Shape into size of walnut and shape into crescent.

Bake slowly at 325 degrees about 20 minutes.

While warm, roll in powdered sugar.

2/3 cup of raw rice
3 cups of milk
2 cups of water
1 teaspoon of salt
3 eggs
3/4 cup of sugar
2 tablespoons of butter
1 teaspoon of vanilla
1/4 teaspoon of nutmeg
Cinnamon

Boil rice in 2 cups milk and 2 cups water with salt until thick. Stir occasionally so it doesn’t burn.

Beat eggs with the last cup of milk and add to the hot mixture with the sugar, butter, vanilla, and nutmeg.

Pour into a buttered 2 quart casserole and sprinkle with cinnamon.

Set in a pan of water to bake for 1 hour at 350 degrees (or until set).

Serves 10.

Some good tips for eating right around Christmas and New Years…

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat step #3.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello!?!?!?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

    “Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!”

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year

This recipe is from a lady that works with my husband. She said it is “YUMMY”!

3 cups Rice Chex
3 cups Corn Chex
3 cups Cheerios
2 cups small pretzels
2 cups salted peanuts
1 (12-ounce) bag plain M&Ms
1 (12-ounce) bag peanut or almond M&Ms
2 (12-ounce) bags of white chocolate chips

Combine all of the ingredients except the white chocolate chips in a big bowl.

Melt the white chocolate chips in a saucepan according to the package instructions. These chips burn quickly, so be careful to not overcook them.

Pour the melted white chocolate over the mixture and, with a strong long-handled wooden spoon, toss well to coat.

Spread the Holiday Hash out on waxed paper and let set until the chocolate hardens.

Break into palm-sized pieces and store them in an airtight container or pour into gift bags.

(Hint: If you buy the red and green M&Ms you’ll have a very festive result.

Rosettes have a crisp, flaky texture and are so good. They usually are made around the Christmas holidays. Most people dust them with powdered sugar.

2 eggs, slightly beaten
2 teaspoons sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
1 cup flour
1 tablespoon lemon extract

Add sugar to slightly beaten eggs.

Add milk.

Sift flour before measuring and then sift together with salt.

Stir into first mixture, and beat until smooth (about the consistency of heavy cream).

Add flavoring.

Dip iron into hot fat, in a deep kettle, to heat it. Then drain excess fat on brown paper. Fat should be hot enough to brown a piece of bread while counting to 60.

Dip heated iron in batter to not more than 3/4 of its height. If only a thin layer of batter adheres to the iron, dip it again until a smooth layer forms. It will be partly cooked from the heat of the iron.

Plunge batter-coated iron quickly into the hot fat, and cook from 2 to 3 minutes (until active bubbling ceases.)

Remove from iron, and drain on brown paper.

If your rosettes are not crisp, the batter is too thick and should be diluted with milk.

While still warm, dip in powdered sugar.

Rosettes have a crisp, flaky texture and are so good. They usually are made around the Christmas holidays. Most people dust them with powdered sugar.

1 cup flour
1/2 cup Carnation cream
1/2 cup water
1-1/2 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
2 eggs (do not beat)
1/4 teaspoon salt

Put all ingredients in a mixing bowl, and stir gently with a spoon until the batter is smooth as a firm thick cream.

Have lard or shortening at least 4 to 5 inches deep.

Dip rosette iron into oil – then into batter not letting batter come over the top of the iron. Fry in oil about 35 seconds.

Drain on paper towels.

Store in covered tin. Get about 40 rosettes.

If you have problems:

• If the rosettes do not want to come off the rosette iron, they have not been left in the oil long enough.
• If the rosettes have blisters, the eggs are beaten too much.
• If they drop off into oil, there should be more oil.
• If the rosettes are not crisp, the rosette iron is too hot.

1 teaspoon sugar
1 or 2 quarts of rum
1 cup dried fruit
brown sugar
1 teaspoon soda
1 cup butter
2 large eggs
1 cup baking powder
3 juiced lemons
1 cup of muts

Before starting, sample rum to check quality. Good, isn’t it? Now proceed.

Select large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc.

Check rum again. It must be just right. To be sure rum is of proper quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.

With electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add 1 seaspoon of thusar and beat again.

Meanwhile, make sure rum is still alrighty. Try another cup. Open second quart if necessary.

Add leggs, 2 cups of fried druit and beat til high. If druit gets stuck in beaters, pry loose with drewscriber.

Sample rum again, checking for tonscisticity.

Next, sift 3 cups pepper or salt (really doesn’t matter).

Sample rum.

Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 bablespoon of brown sugar-or whatever color you can find. Wix mell. Grease oven. Turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Pour mess into boven and ake.

Check run again and bo to ged.

..ADN HALPIE HOLIGLAZE TWO YA’ALL!

Serves 6.